Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Conflict and Resolution

A group of guests walked out of our restaurant and flagged down a cab from across the street. The driver makes a u-turn for his new riders. Another cabbie was sitting down the curb at our cab stand and didn't like this apparent poaching of fares. He walked up to the cab with our guests and pounded on the driver's window. Driver gets out and a yelling match occurs. Guests sit baffled in the cab for awhile until a fist is drawn back and released. Guests decide to look elsewhere for a cab.

While the two cabbies are fighting, our doorman and concierge try to calm down the pugilists along with the help of a friendly homeless man. Front desk calls the police. While waiting the police to come, Mr. Homeless gets tired of breaking up the fight and walks toward to the cab stand. Concierge recommends that the drivers stop pounding the hell out of each other because someone is getting into one of the cabs. After a few more minutes, they stop duking it out and one of them looks back.

"Hey, where's my cab?"

"Well dummy, remember when I told you to stop fighting because someone was getting into your cab?"

One driver drives away fare less and a little bruised.

One driver pouts as he waits for the police to arrive in our lobby.

One friendly homeless guy drives off in his new taxi which will soon be ditched after being stripped of cash, wallet, and cell phone.

One hotel desk clerk kicks himself for missing the whole thing while eating his burrito in back for lunch.

Sunday, November 16, 2008


I checked in Jimmy Fallon the other day. He smelled like mustard.

It's been slow.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Halloween Special

Last night was the night to scare away the evil demons by dressing up as ghosts, goblins, this years pop culture icons, and slutty school girls (also see slutty french maids/cops/pirates/meter maids/support technicians/night auditors/sumo wrestlers/insurance adjusters/etc). Right next to New Years Eve, St. Patrick's Day, and Election Night, Halloween is one of the biggest amateur nights when it comes to excessive drinking. And I got to work it!

As you may have picked up, I long for nice quiet evenings with happy guests and early bedtimes. This seemed not to be the case. After riding the bus downtown with all the drunken costumed revelers (surprisingly, with only two Dark Knight Jokers) I was getting a taste of what to expect. And guess what. Nothing. Dull. Quiet. Boring.

As I removed all the fiberglass cobwebs and clingy plastic spiders, I found that I was empty inside. Maybe I need my drinkers to make my shift go by. This should have been a big blog night, but my boozers have abandoned me. What did I do wrong? My rates were fairly cheap. And I would have listened to you rant about why it's stupid that we don't serve burgers at night. Was it me? You staying at another hotel, aren't you? Well, fine. If you think I can't find another guest to demand that I go across the street to pick up a twelve pack of Heineken at 4:30 in the morning, you're wrong. Dead wrong.

But seriously, come back. I'm bored.

I did have one couple come in late at night dressed like Gomez and Morticia Addams carrying gifts. They had just gotten married at a costume requested wedding and everyone showed dressed up. That's pretty neat.

Oh, and one guy was dressed as a giant chicken. Not slutty.